i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize