I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
