The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
