If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
