OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
