Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
