There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We are all done wearing pants today
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
