I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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