Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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