So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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