I'll bet she douches with gravy.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
