I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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