I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Randomize
