goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
