I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
