Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
only you would photoshop your dick
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Dicks are not precious.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize