well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
