Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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