he wants to bone in the snuggie
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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