I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
