my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Drunk is not a location!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
