i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
