don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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