Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
