i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
