Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
worst night to have a conscience
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize