I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
