Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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