I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
