Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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