we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
