I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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