The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
