There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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