fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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