i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
