Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
