I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
