Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
