Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
