your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
