Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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