I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
