You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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