can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
