We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
