So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
