i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
