Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize