She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
