4 words: hood of his car
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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