Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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