Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
