You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
