Have you finally orgasmed yet?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
