Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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