And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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