do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
this boner is exhausting
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
