Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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