Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You may now shotgun with the bride
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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