i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
it was like his penis was on wheels.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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