He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
