ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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