Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
