I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
