I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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